Chapter 52
"Do you not think," he began, his tone gentle, "that one day not one but both of them would put together the way it is with our worlds and wonder? Wonder why there isn't a them in your world or if you left their twins behind? You do not know him yet, poppy, but Christophe is very bright, as is elan. They would eventually think on these things."
"Okay, I'll give you that," I replied. "But did this have to happen now?"
"I wish for my children to know the woman I intend to marry and I wish the same for the woman who is to be my wife. So yes, it had to happen now. There's no reason to delay."
"Did you think about maybe discussing with me what about me you could or could not share with your kids or, say, anyone at this juncture or any other juncture for that matter?" I inquired.
"What I wish to know," he replied, but did it carefully, "is why this is a secret? Maddie, you did nothing wrong."
He wasn't right about that.
I didn't share the ways he wasn't right.
I said instead, "That's not the point."
"Could you please explain the point?" he asked gently.
He was being gentle and he'd said please.
But he wanted me to move in with him and his kids.
Tomorrow!
"The point is, this is moving too fast."
His tone was less gentle when he noted, "You say this often."
"Because you move too fast often."
"We clearly disagree on this," he returned.
"Apollo, it's been a week."
"And again, I will state we share the same table every evening and the same bed every night. I don't understand why it has to be in separate homes."
"Because there are children involved," I hissed.
"And this factors how?" he shot back, definitely less gentle and getting impatient again.
But I felt my own brows rise.
"How?"
"That's what I asked," he returned. "You see, my dove, it isn't you saying good-bye to your children and riding through the snow every night."
All right. Fine.
I could see that.
"Okay then, if that's a pain in your a.s.s, and I could see that it would be night after night, then I'll sneak in the house after they go to bed."
He's brows knit. "Sneak?"
"Yes."
"Why would you sneak?"
He was crazy.
"Because, honey, I'd be arriving to crawl in your bed with you and do the nasty."
His jaw got hard and his arms got tight. "What we do in bed is not nasty."
Uh-oh.
Obviously, he got the wrong idea about that.
I shook my head quickly and set about righting that wrong. "No. That's not what I meant. It's a turn of phrase in my world."
He dropped his arms and took a step back. "It doesn't surprise me that those of your world would use that word for lovemaking. However they are wrong and you are wrong for using it to refer to what we do."
Now I could see he was getting angry so I erased the s.p.a.ce he put between us and placed my hand on his chest. "You're right. I'd never thought of it like that, but you're right and it absolutely does not define in any way what we do in bed or how I think of it."
"Yet you discuss sneaking into my home to avoid my children knowing you're here and in my bed, so you must hold some scorn or guilt for what we do," he returned.
"No," I shook my head again, leaning deeper into him. "Not at all. But they're kids Apollo. Young kids. And they don't need
"I won't exactly be sharing our play second for second at the breakfast table, Madeleine," he stated, his voice turning cold. "But to share your bed with a woman you care about is not something to be ashamed of."
"No, of course not, but-"
"And I'll not communicate that by hiding who you are to me."
That was nice, so nice.
But that didn't mean he wasn't moving too fast.
"That's sweet, honey, but-"
"And I'll not have it communicated to my children...in any way...that the act of love between two agreeable adults is something to hide because it's shameful."
"Right, I get that, sweetheart. I totally do. But-"
"If you get it, then you move in tomorrow," he declared.
"Listen-"
"Tomorrow, Madeleine," he decreed.
Unfortunately, he was cutting me off and being arrogant and bossy all at the same time and this was serving to p.i.s.s me off.
"Okay," I began, "you know your children better than me, obviously, so let's just say this is moving too fast for me."
"I do not understand how," he returned.
"Apollo," with effort, I controlled the snap in my voice, "I haven't had the chance to figure out what I'm going to do with my life, what with war breaking out and everything."
"And this requires you being in the dower house?"
"It requires time to think." When he opened his mouth, I hastened to add, "Alone time."
"Maddie, the children are with their tutors all day and I'm equally busy. You'll have plenty of alone time."
"You don't understand," I pointed out the obvious.
"No, I do not," he agreed to the obvious. "What I do understand is that whatever you're going to do with your life, you'll be doing it as my wife, living with me and my children in this b.l.o.o.d.y house. So you're very correct. I don't understand why you need to be in a home ten minutes away to figure that out delaying the inevitable, that being moving in here."
I tried to go gentle when I stated, "It isn't the inevitable. None of that has been decided, Apollo."
I didn't go gently enough.
I knew this when his eyes blanked, his face turned to stone and he asked, "And your choices are vast?"
Oh boy.
Now I was getting mad.
"Apollo-"
"So vast, it requires great blocks of alone time to consider all your options?"
"What I'm saying is-"
"And those options include options that are better than what I give to you and could give to you"-he swept out an arm then leaned into me- "if you'd b.l.o.o.d.y move in."
"You don't understand me-" I started but didn't finish.
"No, I don't," he clipped. "We've established that."
"What I mean is," I snapped. "You don't understand me and mostly, right now, you don't because you won't let me b.l.o.o.d.y finish."
He clamped his mouth shut, crossed his arms on his chest and scowled at me.
But when he did, I was so angry and all he'd said started cras.h.i.+ng into my brain (because he was right, my choices weren't vast, in fact, they were practically non-existent), I couldn't get my head together enough to say a word.
"So." He threw out a hand and invited, "Speak."
"I need a second," I bit out.
"I don't have a second, Madeleine. I have a meeting with my secretary that should have started ten minutes ago."
Unfortunately, that led me straight into b.i.t.c.hy.
"Well, I apologize for being a drain on your time and taking you away from your schedule. If you're that busy, please don't let me keep you. I mean, we're just discussing our future."
"According to you, my dove, we don't have a future."
"That's not what I said," I hissed.
"Oh yes," he whispered. "It is."
Seriously?
"Apollo-"
He was not whispering when he said, "If you can manage it without attacking anyone, see yourself home. I'll give your apologies to the children that you couldn't make dinner tonight. I'll also not be joining you later this evening. However, this will serve to give you alone time to make important decisions about your future. And when you do, please share them with me so I can make some about mine as well."
With that, he turned on his boot and walked away, not realizing he left me gutted.
Or maybe he did and he just didn't care, seeing as he was the one who'd gutted me.
Chapter Seventeen.
Huzzah!
I sat in the front room of the dower house, my crossed arms draped over the back of a couch, head down, cheek resting on them, staring at the light snow falling outside.
It really was pretty. Like a movie, so perfect it was unbelievable.
And that sucked.
For the first time since I'd been there, I wanted to go back to my world.
It had been four days since Apollo and I fought. And I had not seen him or heard from him in all that time. I hadn't even seen any of the guys.
Apparently, Apollo got the boys in our fight. Not surprising but it made things feel worse than they already did.
And I was getting the sense from not seeing him that things were pretty bad.
In other words, it had not been a good four days.