Chapter 3
003
Foreigners would soon arrive at the capital in the next few days. And along with them was a prince that was heard to be looking to propose a marriage.
Fu Miao Han, at the request of her mother, entered her brother's room to open the windows to have some air flowing as to avoid the already sick person becoming even more sick.
"Brother, you must not know about the rumours outside about people from foreign land coming to look for marriage."
"Thinking about it, the Tenth Princess of the imperial family is at the age to consider marriage. Considering the Imperial Concubine's dislike of her, I don't know if she'll end up being married off afar."
"Brother, I heard from my sisters, the princesses who marry off afar all aren't met with a good future. Not to mention, foreigners also have tendencies of sharing wives. If the Princess really marries off afar, then what should we do?"
Fu Miao Han continued to talk while paying close attention to Fu Hong Wen's reaction. Although the other party did not have any particular change of expression, the finger, however, bit by bit tightened the mattress. She could not help but sigh, "Although I don't know what happened between the Princess and you that day, but as the little sister, I can see the Princess does have some feelings for you when she looks at you during the day."
"Brother, you have known the Princess this long already. To exaggerate a bit, you have seen her bloom slowly from a flower bud, and yet you are willing to let this wonderful girl get plucked by another person, and be married off to someplace far to be wasted away?"
He was, however, not a girl.
Fu Hong Wen swallowed back these words. He knew he could not say it. No matter if it was for the Fu family, or if it was for Zhao Li Xin.
It was as Fu Miao Han said. He was not willing. Just by thinking about him being in someone else's embrace, or him embracing another, smiling like a flower, he could not take it. Even much less so with the thought of him being used as a p.a.w.n for marriage, unable to see him ever again.
He saw him ever since he was as tall as a beansprout and grown until now- even just the smallest possibility would make his heart tighten and hurt.
But Zhao Li Xin was not wrong. A man with another man originally was against normal principles. Could he really go against the world and be with him openly? Could he really bear to betray his parents who raised him, and not have any offspring?
The overlapping complex feelings had made Fu Hong Wen want to run away, to the point of not daring to see Zhao Li Xin.
Seeing that Brother's face react even slightly, Fu Miao Han bore hope, and added more fuel to the fire, "In two days, the foreigners will enter the capital. With the Princess's personality and looks, she will definitely be looked upon. If the emperor allows for it, at that time not only will you not be able to see each other again, but whether she is alive or dead, you won't even know of it.
Fu Miao Han's words were like a sharp knife- one hit was enough to cut off Fu Hong Wen's tight strings, and without a care for his own body, hurriedly dressed his clothes and left for the palace.
He could not. He could not see him get thrown into the fire pit this way.
Zhao
After having respectfully humoured Imperial Concubine Liu, on the way back to his own palace, he encountered a bewildered Fu Hong Wen. The man who was like a shoot of bamboo straightly growing towards the blue sky braving hot and cold in his memories, in the present day, had thinned out, his hair s.h.a.ggy, clothes dishevelled, huffing and puffing, standing right in front himself.
"I have thought about it properly." The features of the kind and amorous man had entangled for a long time. To address one by name directly would be disrespectful, but to call him Princess would also be improper. In the end, he only took a deep breath, "I[1] have thought about it- the vow on that day will not change again. I am willing to cut off my official career, and not be a minister in my lifetime, to exchange it for the position as the Princess's husband."
"No matter what ident.i.ty you have, when I think about how I will never be able to see you smile at me again, I would have a hard time."
"If you are willing, just take it as granting permission to this pitiable me" Fu Hong Wen fixed his clothing, looking towards the "girl" in front of him as he did that day, pure-heartedly, "I want to treat you well, and treat only you well in this lifetime."
The sun today is quite big, so Zhao Li Xin had thought.
Is it not? This burning hot sun had s.h.i.+ned on him to the point he had felt faint, his nose also ached slightly, even his eyes formed a layer of mist with every blink. Zhao Li Xin could hear his voice go hoa.r.s.e, bringing a little bit of a nasal tone, with the tenderness of that particular year, asked, "Grand Tutor, can I take your words as true?"
Falling into the trance thinking of the young girl with reddened eyes of that year, Fu Hong Wen's heart could not hold back any longer at that moment, and simply want to crumble, "Of course it is true."
Each and every thing I say is all true, but how about you? Are you willing to give up that position, and be my wife without reluctance?
"If I say I want you go to in front of my Father right now to get his grace, would you be willing?" Zhao Li Xin sniffed, pinching his own handkerchief, "You are certain, that for the sake of someone like me, you can give up your well-off prospects?"
"I can."
With the firm answer, Zhao Li Xin could not help but laugh from his heart. He thought- forget it, he didn't have his Mother's love, he didn't have any attention from Father, nor would he have that superior position, but he had Fu Hong Wen. In this lifetime, he would only have Fu Hong Wen.
He could give up his official career for him, then for him, how could he himself not be able to give up the throne?
Looking at how Fu Hong Wen was still idiotically standing in his original position looking at himself, Zhao Li Xin lifted his face, coldly snorted, "What is it? Does the Grand Tutor want to retract his words after just saying it? Why aren't you going off quickly with me to get a grace from my Father?"
Hearing those words, Fu Wen Hong held back his joy, but when walking beside Fu Hong Wen, his steps could not help but be as light as a feather. Up until after he was really asking the emperor for a grace, turned even more so…… No. What was even more so, was that Fu Hong Wen could not even tell what year it was that evening at all.
He had never thought it would be that simple to receive the grace. From today, Zhao Li Xin would be his fiancee- and soon, he would become his wife.
But when considering Zhao Li Xin's ident.i.ty, Fu Hong Wen was a bit uneasy. Slightly pursing his lips, "Will you regret it?"
Zhao Li Xin could hear what the other party meant, the joy just moments ago had dampened quite a bit in just a second.
For Fu Hong Wen, to so cleanly give up the throne like this, is it worth it? If he became his wife, in this lifetime, he could no longer a.s.sume the ident.i.ty as a man to appear in front of everyone's eyes. A man dressing as a woman, furthermore, a prince who had been married, would no longer be destined with that position.
He had thought about it a lot. He was not willing to be under people, to a.s.sist the Emperor as a subject until old. He was just unsatisfied as to why Imperial Concubine Liu had unfairly treated him. He was unwilling to let others control his own destiny. But then this accident known as Fu Hong Wen had appeared- n.o.body would be like Fu Hong Wen who would resolutely and decisively[2] give up a life of a official career to be with himself so willingly.
Even if it was a lie, he would gladly take it[3].
The plans he made that year, advancing with every step, was to borrow Fu Hong Wen's kindness to begin with- that had then became his own desire. Who would have thought that n.o.ble gentleness would since then become his a part of his heart.
What Fu Hong Wen said was wrong- clearly it was he who was the one that shone upon the moon.
Zhao Li Xin knew. If he had let Fu Hong Wen slip by, he would never be able to find someone who would bring a handful of candied gourds[4] to coax him with, nor would he be able to find someone who would, after being drunk, kindly stroke his head, then tell him afterwards that he would treat him well.
[1] In the first instance of, he used the first-person without any t.i.tle, but here, he chooses to use "subject" to refer to himself.
[2] Read, With a single nail to the steel.
[3] Read, enjoy something bitter as though it was as sweet as maltose.
[4] A popular traditional Chinese candy, displayed as such- https://live.staticflickr.com/5056/5401028242_d05e7e3d2d_b.jpg