Chapter 49
"Only because you would have stopped it if you had known."
"--At night, and by yourself?"
"The night's as good as the day when there's moonlight like this. And I shall not be by myself, I shall be with Lucian; I'd rather be with him than anybody."
"And Evert?"
"Well," said Garda, "the truth is--the truth is I'm _tired_ of Evert."
"You'd better tell him that," said Margaret, with a quick and curious change in her voice.
"I will, if you think best."
"No, don't tell him; you're not in earnest," said Margaret, calming himself.
"Yes, I am in earnest. But I shall miss Lucian if I stay here longer."
"Garda, give this up."
"I don't see how you happened to hear me come out," said the girl, laughing and vexed.
"Have you been out in this way before?"
"No; how could I? Lucian has only just come down here. I should a great deal rather tell you everything, Margaret, as fast as I think of it, and I would--only you would be sure to stop it."
"I want to stop this. Give it up--if you care at all for me; I make it a test."
"You know I care; if you put it on that ground, of course I shall have to give it up," said Garda, disconsolately.
"Come back to the house, then," said Margaret, taking her hand.
"No, I'm not going back, I'm going down to the landing," answered the girl. She appeared to think that she had earned this obstinacy by her larger concession.
"But you said you would give up--"
"If we keep back under the trees he cannot see us; I mean what I say--he _shall_ not. But I want to see him, I want to see him go by."
She drew Margaret onward, and presently they reached the sh.o.r.e. "There he comes!" she said--"I hear the oars." And she held tightly to Margaret's hand, as if to keep herself from running out to the platform's edge.
The broad lagoon, rippling in the moonlight, lay before them; the night was so still that they heard the dip of the oars long before they saw the boat itself; Patricio, opposite, looked like a country in a dream.
The giant limbs of the live-oak under which they stood rose high in the air above them, and then drooped down again far forward, the dark shade beneath concealing them perfectly, in spite of Margaret's white robe.
Now the boat shot into sight. Its sail was up, white as silver, but as there was no wind, Lucian was rowing. It was a small, light boat, almost too small for the great silver sail; but that was what Lucian liked. He
Garda gave a long sigh. "I ought to be there!" she murmured. "Oh, I ought to be there!" She stood motionless, watching the boat come nearer, pa.s.s, and disappear; then she turned and looked at Margaret in silence.
"We can go out to-morrow evening, if you like," said Margaret, ignoring the expression of her face.
"Yes, at eight o'clock, I suppose, with Evert, and Mrs. Rosalie!"
"Would you prefer to go in the middle of the night?"
"Infinitely. And with Lucian alone."
"I should think that might be a little tiresome."
"Oh, come, don't pretend; you don't know how," said Garda, laughing. "At heart you're as serious as death about all this--you know you are.
Tiresome, did you say? Just looking at him, to begin with--do you call _that_ tiresome? And then the way he talks, the way he says things! Oh, Margaret, I give you my word I _adore_ being amused as Lucian amuses me." She turned as she said this and met Margaret's eyes fixed upon her.
"You can't understand it," she commented. "You can't understand that I prefer Lucian to Evert."
Margaret turned from her. But the next instant she came back. "There are some things I must ask you, Garda."
"Well, do stay here a little longer then, it's so lovely; we'll sit down on the bench. But perhaps you'll be chilled--you're so lightly dressed.
What have you on your feet? Oh Margaret! only those thin shoes--no more than slippers?" She took her shawl, and kneeling down, wrapped it round Margaret's ankles. "What little feet you have!" she said, admiringly.
"It reminds me of my wet shoes that night on the barren," she added, rising; and then, standing there with her hands clasped behind her, she appeared to be meditating. "Now that time I was in earnest too!" she said, with a sort of wonder at herself.
"What do you mean?" asked Margaret.
"Oh, nothing of consequence. Are you sure you're not cold?"
"I'm quite warm; it's like summer."
"Yes, it's warm," said Garda, sitting down beside her. "Oh, I wish I were in that boat!" And she put her head down on Margaret's shoulder.
After a moment Margaret began her interrogatory. "You consider yourself engaged to Evert, don't you?"
"Yes, after a fas.h.i.+on. He doesn't care about it."
"Yes, he does. You don't comprehend him."
"Don't you think he ought to _make_ me comprehend, then? It seems to me that that's his part. But no, the real trouble is that he doesn't in the least comprehend _me_. He has got some idea of his own about me, he has had it all this time. But I'm not like his idea at all; I wonder how long it will be before he will find it out?"
"Don't you care for him, Garda?"
"No, not any more. I did once; at least that night on the barren I thought I did. But if I did, I am sure I don't know what has become of the feeling! At any rate it has gone, gone entirely; I only care for Lucian now."
"And would you give up Evert, engaged to him as you are, with your own consent and the consent of all your friends, for a mere fancy like this?"
"Mere fancy? I shall begin to think, Margaret, that you don't know what 'mere fancies,' as you call them, are!"
"And what view do you take of the fact that Lucian is a married man?"
Margaret went on, gravely.
"A horribly melancholy one, of course. Still, it's a great pleasure just to see him; I try to see him as often as I can."
"And you're willing to follow him about as you do--let him see how much you like him, when, in reality, he doesn't care in the least for you? If he had cared he would never have left you, as he did last winter, at a moment's notice and without a word."
"No, I know he doesn't care for me as I care for him," said Garda. "But perhaps he will care more in time; I have thought that perhaps he would care more when he found out how I felt towards him; that is what I have been hoping."